Principals were expected to submit a detailed Stock Return each year and keep a Stock Book up to date, to ensure that the detail was accurate. The Stock Return indicated how many items for pupil and teacher use were unused in the school at a set date, and, in an adjacent column, how many items were requested from School Supplies. School Supplies then operated on a formula of distribution based on enrolment, such as 1½ ball point pens per pupil from Year 3 to Year 7. The distribution was free of charge and expected to be sufficient for the operation of the school for the ensuing year. It didn’t always work out that way.This ditty followed a report in the Queensland Teachers Journal that a staff teacher said at a Union Council meeting, “The supply of red ballpoint pens is woefully inadequate. Principals seem to hate parting with them. If I produce one that has run dry, why can’t I get a new one?”
The Plaint of the Principal
[Tune : "The Spaniard that Blighted my Life"]
List to me while I tell you
Of the teacher who blighted my life!
List to me while I tell you
Of the stirrer who caused me such strife!
‘Twas there in the Stock Room I caught him -
I was getting a Stock Return done,
And while I was checking the toilet-roll tally,
He took TWO red biros, not one!
Yes, TWO, not one -
And I swear he had one in his room!
So if I catch that wretched purloiner purloining once more,
I’ll double the dog’s Playground Duty, and give him what’s for!
I’ll haunt the clown’s classroom, I will,
And as I watch him teaching, he’ll fry on a grill -
He shall fry! He shall fry!
He shall fry-tiddley-i-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti-ti,
He shall fry! He shall fry!!
Oh, I’ll ask to see, sir,
The cad’s CCP, sir,
If I catch him thieving again. Olé!
[CCP : Current Curriculum Program - a written program of expected teaching outcomes, teaching strategies etc.]
