The compulsory wearing of a school uniform has always been a bone of contention. Some schools operate with a heavy hand and manage to ‘get away with it’; others promote pride in it and constantly congratulate its wearers; others don’t care once they have described its shape; others make the rule and keep their fingers crossed. There are times in the life of many schools that there have been annoying divisions of opinion. There are issues of school pride, behaviour in public, cost, tax allowance, parents’ rights, ‘not done in the U.S.’, distinctiveness. Mr.Bones, in this tale, used a unique solution to have his charges accept the need to wear the school’s uniform.
The Uniform
[Tune: "The Unicorn"]
( * These lines should be spoken in the style of the Irish Rovers.)
A long time ago, when our Bones was green,
*He had more kinds of troubles than he’d ever seen;
Around his head just like bees they’d swarm,
And the peskiest of all was THE UNIFORM!
THEY WORE GREEN FRILLY GARTERS AND CREW-NECKED SHIRTS,
THEM BULKY-KNIT SWEATERS AND MINISKIRTS,
CRAVATS AND SPATS AND STRETCHY-PANTS, BUT SURE AS YOU’RE BORN
THEY JUST WOULDN’T WEAR SCHOOL UNIFORM.
The students were called, they stood on parade,
*And Bones strode up like a man underpaid,
He looked up and down, and he looked right through,
And he said, “This will never do!”
“NO NO NO GREEN FRILLY GARTERS AND CREW-NECKED SHIRTS,
NO BULKY-KNIT SWEATERS AND MINISKIRTS,
NO SPATS, CRAVATS AND STRETCHY-PANTS! FOR SURE AS YOU’RE BORN
YOU JUST GOTTA WEAR SCHOOL UNIFORM!”
The students demurred; they said, “No dice!”
*They said, “Mr. Princ’pal, that just ain’t nice,
Our constitutional rights declare
You can’t make us change what we want to wear!”
“WE’LL WEAR GREEN FRILLY GARTERS AND CREW NECKED SHIRTS,
THEM BULKY-KNIT SWEATERS AND MINISKIRTS,
CRAVATS AND SPATS AND STRETCHY PANTS, BUT SURE AS YOU’RE BORN,
WE JUST WON’T WEAR SCHOOL UNIFORM!”
Now Bones thought hard; he couldn’t lose face;
*He made a cool rule for the swingin’ place;
Because of the rule, ever since that day
*There’s a school dressed in uniform in this very way:
THEY WEAR GREEN FRILLY GARTERS AND CREW-NECKED SHIRTS,
THEM BULKY-KNIT SWEATERS AND MINISKIRTS,
CRAVATS AND SPATS AND STRETCHY-PANTS, FOR SURE AS YOU’RE BORN
OUR BONES MADE THAT, THEIR UNIFORM.
