George Fitzhardinge Berkeley in his younger days spent a short time as a primary and secondary teacher. He had a longer stint as a research and curriculum officer and then as Director of Special Education Services. He next became Assistant Director-General and served as Director-General from 1984 to 1986.In his parodies Ray with good humour twisted many a Departmental lion’s tail. His ditty on G.B.,D.-G. cheekily twits the head-serang for his “diplomacy” in dealing with Premier Sir Joh Bjelke-Petersen and Minister for Education Lin Powell.
Ray makes no reference to Departmental changes designed by G.B.,D.-G. and Minister Powell which started in 1983 and finally put in place in 1990 after G.B. had retired. They were dark-brown to black times, well illustrated by the Hinchliffe pasquinades in the Queensland Teachers’ Journals of the time, the details of which also appear in the University of Southern Queensland Monograph: Phil Cullen, Back to Drastics, 2006, Part 2 “Out with the Baby” Pp74-87
G.B.,D.-G.
[Tune: "I am the Very Model of a Modern Major-General" from "Pirates of Penzance".]
I am the very model of a mod Director-General,
I’ve information vegetable, animal and mineral;
I’ve gained familiarity with every last particular
Of all the scope and sequence charts of all the new curricula;
I’m up-to-date with all the late computer-age technology
And pedagogic methods, not to mention methodology.
To keep one vital step ahead has been my constant strategy – [Strategy?]
When you are looking at an (f), then I’ll be looking at a (g)
WHEN WE ARE LOOKING AT AN (f), THEN HE IS LOOKING AT A (g),
WHEN WE ARE LOOKING AT AN (f), THEN HE IS LOOKING AT A (g),
WHEN WE ARE LOOKING AT AN (f), THEN HE IS LOOKING AT A AT A (g)!
I am the light upon the hill, the star to set your tiller by -
I am the Grand Panjandrum of the Departmental syllabi;
In short, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,
I am the very model of a mod Director-General!
HE IS THE VERY MODEL OF A MOD DIRECTOR-GENERAL!
When as the Departmental voice I needs must be pontifical,
I deal in generalities, disdaining the specifical:
With parents I wax eloquent elaborating platitudes
Regarding the necessity for “home – supportive attitudes”.
If mediamen descend on me in search of the sensational -
Extended hours for teaching staff and shrinkages vocational -
I answer with denials that are artfully ambiguous; [ambiguous?]
My words are most impressive when my meaning’s most exiguous.
HIS WORDS ARE MOST IMPRESSIVE WHEN HIS MEANING’S MOST EXIGUOUS,
HIS WORDS ARE MOST IMPRESSIVE WHEN HIS MEANING’S MOST EXIGUOUS,
HIS WORDS ARE MOST IMPRESSIVE WHEN HIS MEANING’S MOST EXIGUIGUOUS!
Should need arise to separate professional from amateur,
I simply choose at once to use that lovely word “parameter”.
In short, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,
I am the very model of a mod Director-General!
HE IS THE VERY MODEL OF A MOD DIRECTOR-GENERAL!
My doctrine is eclectic and untrammelled by rigidity:
The off-beat I accommodate in all its quirky quiddity.
If Joh and Lin should call me in as senior educationist,
While fair to evolutionist, I’m civil to creationist:
I don’t tear up my justly-earned diploma for diplomacy
To call Creation Science the quintessence of misnomercy.
Though you may think it strange o’ me or wrong o’ me or bad o’ me (bad o’ me?)
If Rona wants to teach I let her have her own academy,
IF RONA WANTS TO TEACH HE LETS HER HAVE HER OWN ACADEMY,
IF RONA WANTS TO TEACH HE LETS HER HAVE HER OWN ACADEMY,
IF RONA WANTS TO TEACH HE LETS HER HAVE HER OWN ACADEMADEMY!
I’m all for conservation in conserving what is viable,
But welcome innovation and the trying of the triable;
In short, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,
I am the very model of a mod Director- General!
HE IS THE VERY MODEL OF A MOD DIRECTOR-GENERAL!
I show my versatility in office multifarious,
With polymorph ability discharging duties various;
I move my chessboard teachers with “deployment flexibility” -
They head for Cunnamulla uncorrupted by hostility;
They hail their westward- hoing with “Bravissimo!” fortissimo,
“We hear and we obey our great Director-Generalissimo.”
I suitably reorganise configurations structural (structural?)
And penalise judiciously behaviour misconductural.
AND PENALISE JUDICIOUSLY BEHAVIOUR MISCONDUCTURAL,
AND PENALISE JUDICIOUSLY BEHAVIOUR MISCONDUCTURAL,
AND PENALISE JUDICIOUSLY BEHAVIOUR MISCONDUCTURUCTURAL!
With members of the Q.T.U. no longer I associate,
But they know where to find me when they’re ready to negotiate;
In short, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,
I am the very model of a mod Director-General!
HE IS THE VERY MODEL OF A MOD DIRECTOR-GENERAL!
I study futurology to greet the looming century -
“2000 EDUCATION” Is Columbusly adventury;
The ISSUES and the OPTIONS I expound with perspicuity,
RESPONSIVENESS and RELEVANCE and LEARNING CONTINUITY;
I underplay the negative, the positive accentuate
In canvassing the INCREMENTAL CHANGES to EVENTUATE;
I tackle weighty problems such as schooling POST-COMPULSORY (compulsory?)
But never let’em make me hypertensional and ulcery.
HE NEVER LETS’EM MAKE HIM HYPERTENSIONAL AND ULCERY,
HE NEVER LETS’EM MAKE HIM HYPERTENSIONAL AND ULCERY,
HE NEVER LETS’EM MAKE HIM HYPERTENSIONAL AND ULCERULCERY!
I ponder the PROVISION OF EMPLOYMENT OPPORTUNITY
And MULTI-CAMPUS COURSES and INVOLVEMENT OF COMMUNITY;
In short, in matters vegetable, animal and mineral,
I am the very model of a mod Director-General!
HE IS THE VERY MODEL OF A MOD DIRECTOR-GENERAL!
REFERENCES Stanza 3: Rona Joyner, moral campaigner, curriculum critic, and punisher of evil people, started a school in a vacant chemist shop at Woody Point using the American-styled Accelerated Christian Education curriculum and its classroom strategies. Each student [certainly not treated as a pupil] was confined to a study carrel working through set texts and had to display a flag if the teacher was wanted. Demerits were accumulated for talking and for similar forms of misbehaviour. Detention was the common punishment. The History of USA was taught instead of Social Studies. Jill Rowbotham, Courier Mail journalist, described the self-styled Academy: “She teaches her nine pupils, including her 17 year-old son, Stephen, every week day from 8 am to 4 pm. She is not paid and her qualification for it is a one-week intensive course… Parents pay $800 a week for their children to attend.”
Such was Mrs. Joyner’s power in Joh Bjelke’s dystopia that no one in the Education or Health or any other Department responsible for checking such establishments was brave enough to question the existence of the school.
